batman was in my building

i was coming down the building when i saw a kid wearing a batman costume climbing up our fire exit. pero hindi, hindi naman siya na-late sa trick or treating. in fact, the curious thing about it is that he seems to have been wearing the costume since sunday (it's thursday already). i thought it was odd. and cute. imagine, araw araw siyang naka-batman costume. lupet di ba? naisip ko tuloy kung magkaka-anak ako siguro magiging kunsintidor din ako sa mga hilig ng anak ko no matter how odd it is. "You want to go to school wearing a nun's outfit? kahit lalaki ka? sure! go ahead!" "what? you like burning down houses because huge flames make you feel warm and fuzzy? no problem, here's a lighter." that or i'll be forever reminding him what a big loser his father is. loser --- no, i mean, father. man, that's a scary word. that's like next to STD and dementia in my list of things to be scared about. (but why on earth will you be scared of being a father, mario? when there's no chance in hell that your chromosomes will be transferred to a female specie even if she looks like brad pitt. ang sagot ko: bakit ba? get your own phantom fears to worry about.)

teka, teka mario, back track a little. di ba you hate children? di ba you even hate being in a relationship (even if you are in one)? i think this is a sign that not only did i woke up in the wrong side of the bed this morning, i actually woke up in another dimension. ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your straight jackets and take out your tranquilizers, we are now approaching cuckoo land. i don't know, it's probably because i woke up at around 4am and since then i've been a psycho mess (psycho na, mess pa ka.ka.lowka). this is a clear sign that i can no longer hold down a nine to five job because by lunchtime i'll be frothing in the mouth and calling for medea (whoever she is). i just thought of it now, maybe batman junior was just hallucination. maybe he was just a remnant of a dream i had last night. pwede but then i don't remember dreaming about batman. i did however dreamed about congratulating someone on her Urian nomination. kaloka. this is getting creepy. i hope i survive this day.

nov. 5, 2009


ps, galing dito ang larawan: http://www.moonsaildesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/ron1.jpg

the world is our playground and we will always be home

8:22am. just came from my mother's house. haven't gotten any sleep because falling asleep is one of the things that i find difficult to do ever since i was a kid. the other one is peeing. i lay on the bed listening to up dharma. it's the same song that i keep playing over and over again back when we were still in the old apartment. the same song that i listened to when i first fell in love with the boyfriend. i look up and there he is looming above me, framed by the white ceiling. i tell myself that if he stoops down to kiss me i'm going to get a book and start reading. but he doesnt kiss me so i didn't move. he went to the kitchen and started cleaning up. i tell myself that if he asks me if i want coffee then i'll turn over and shift position. he doesnt say anything or perhaps the music is just too loud. i keep on dreaming. the song ends and i press play again. i look beyond the door and watch the blue sky with the white clouds. it's a beautiful day despite the fact that pagasa has announced that there is a storm coming. the boyfriend enters the room and i tell myself that if he snuggles beside me then ill start typing what is on my mind. he does lay on the bed and so i start typing this. he runs his hands on my back and gives me a massage. i tell myself that if he touches the back of my neck then i'll stop writing and try to sleep. he rubs my shoulders. i wait in anticipation. and i wait. and i wait. until he finally does and i start shutting down.

Because we like boys in cars, boys who buy us drinks in bars

There’s this impossibly cute guy --- ok, several impossibly cute guys --- in my Downelink list of friends that make me wish I’m still single. Not that they would date me but at least I’m a couple of hundred steps closer to reality if I were unattached. What is it about guys that make me wish things: wish that I was taller, smarter, cuter…

The other day while on a tricycle on my way to my mother’s house, I was thinking about sex. I was wondering why I am so obsessed with it. If I’m not doing it then I’m thinking about it (arguably, I think of it more often than I’m having it). But why does sex still seems new to me? Is this a symptom of addiction or is it because I’m doing it with several men? Is it all about conquest or is it all about jacking off? Or is it because, as Claudine (or was it Ate Vi? Have to ask MJ) once said in a movie, the men may have taken my body but no one has bothered to conquer my soul --- heart, siguro yung mas bagay na word. Ang bakla naman ng last statement na yun.

I was depressed the other day. I read something on my boyfriend’s phone that made me upset. No, it wasn’t about boys or anything. It was around the same time that a friend was bugging me about a party we were supposed to go to. Since I thought that I should be, at least, in a party mood or perhaps just a tad less antisocial, I went online to search for some inspiration. That’s when I found the trailer for Beerhouse, Jon Red’s new movie. The trailer was amusing but my eyes were quickly drawn to Ryan Eigenmann. Instantly, I was chirpy again. What can I say, men have always had a visceral effect on me.



galing dito ang litrato: http://philippinesfunwall.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/ryan-eigenmann.jpg

oh marat

i'm in love!

Say Chiz!

He's not as cute as Gibo and he talks like an android. His general expression is that of someone who has been constantly snacking on dramamin and yet as I watched Chiz Escudero on Probe Profiles a few days ago I instantly realized why Weng has a huge crush on him. The guy has sex appeal, no? He looks as if he really has the balls to lead this country out of the rut it has forever been in (which couldn't be said of Noynoy, apparently all the testosterone in his family went to Kris). But will he be a good leader?

Cue Bayang Barrios

tickle me elmo

maingay ang paligid. makulay. maraming batang nagsisiparoon at parito habang ang kanilang mga magulang ay bunubuntot buntot sa kanila na parang mga yaya. hindi ito iniinda ni clarissa. nautusan kasi siya ng kanyang supervisor na maghanap ng costume pang dracula sa kanilang stock room. pagkatapos ng ilang balik, hindi rin pala si dracula ang hinahanap ng bumibili. si frankenstein daw.

Alas-diyes pa ng umaga nanduon na si clarissa at ngayon ay ala-siete na ng gabi. ang lamig ng aircon ay halos tumagos na sa kanyang kasukasuan. masakit na rin ang kanyang paa't binti sa kakatayo at kakatakbo. paos na ang kanyang boses. pero hindi niya ito iniintindi dahil alam niyang kasama ito sa kanyang trabaho.

pabalik na siya sa stockroom nang mapadaan siya sa mga stuffed toys. hindi niya hilig ang mga ito. kahit nuong bata'y tingin na niya sa mga ito ay kasayangan lang ng pera. pero siguro dahil sa pagod, puyat at problema (nasalanta sila ng bagyo kamakailan lang) naisip niyang huminto at pagmasdan ang mga ito. hindi niya namalayan, isa isa na pala niyang pinupuri ang mga naka-display. kung papaano ang yellow na feathers ni big bird ay sadyang nakakapang-alis ng pagod o ang blue na balahibo ni cookie monster ay parang nakaka-antok. kay sarap sigurong yakapin ang monster na yan, sa isip isip niya.

sa ibaba, bigla niyang napansin ang kulay red na manika. "Tickle me," sabi ng munting papel na nakasabit sa tagiliran nito. Umupo si clarissa at pinagmasdan ang manika. last year lang nakita niyang kay daming mga magulang ang bumili nito. ipinatong niya ang mga costumes sa kanyang balikat at sinubukang kilitiin si elmo. hindi ito umimik. bagkus sa tingin pa nga niya ay sumimangot pa ito. "bakit kaya?" sa isip isip ni clarissa. siya rin ay napasimangot din. sinungkit niya ang likod ng manika para tingnan kung may baterya pa. meron naman. naisip niya na siguro hindi lang niya ito nakikiliti sa tamang parte. sinubukan niya muling kapain ang tagiliran ni elmo at mula sa munting speakers na nakatago sa balahibo nito ay sa wakas narinig na niya ang mala-batang hagikgik ng manika. napangiti siya. muli niyang kiniliti ang manika. muli ring humagikgik sa elmo. napatawa tuloy si clarissa nang medyo kalakasan kaya naman tumingin tingin siya sa paligid sa takot na may nakakita sa kanya. buti na lang at busy silang lahat.

pinagmasdan niya ng maigi si elmo. ang pula at magulong balahibo nito. ang mga matang kay tigas at kay puti. ang mga labing tila hindi nauubusan ng ngiti. kulang na lang ay alisin niya ito mula sa kinalalagyan na box at hagkan na parang tunay na baby, na parang tunay na tao. pero dahil hindi niya ito pwedeng gawin, muli na lang niyang kiniliti si elmo at siya rin ay napangiti ulit. hindi niya alam kung bakit ito ang kanyang nararamdaman. ang tanging alam lang niya ay gusto niyang naririnig ng paulit ulit ang mga hagikhik ng munting manika.

maingay pa rin paligid, ingay dulot ng mga batang nasisipaglaro't harutan habang ang kanilang mga magulang nama'y bumubunto't bunto na parang mga inaliping yaya.

mula rito ang litrato: www.maryellenhunt.com/.../labels/Iraq.html

la divina

dreaming of maria callas, whoever she is.